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Beer Breath-The Ultimate Challenge

BellaOnline-Carolyn Smagalski


Beer and Brewing

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Carolyn Smagalski
BellaOnline's Beer and Brewing Editor


Beer Breath - the Ultimate Challenge

"You rushed home from work that evening, cheeks flushed after pushing to the limit. A cool shower tickled your body awake, enlivening your spirit in anticipation of the unknown. Celebration Night at the Mambo Club! How might your life unfold? A splash of French perfume! That dazzling shade of aquamarine, enhancing your statuesque curves! You knew you looked ˜killer!"

"The evening had all the signs of magic – the pounding, sensual music, cool air wafting in across the veranda, a lustful, enticing glance from across the room"

“Then, there he was, blowing his rancid, stale beer breath into your face. You nearly gagged as he aspirated a noxious belch of how-do-you-do into your nostrils. Liquor, garlic, cigarettes, What a way to ruin the moment!

Some women love beer breath. It reminds them of times past, when daddy carried them around the ball field on a steamy, Sunday afternoon. A rare few find beer breath to be sexy.
For the overwhelming majority, however, it is the kiss of death! Wouldn't you love to hear their Ladies' Room chatter?

"He had beer breath that could stun a moose at 100 miles.
I think beer breath lingers even after death.
Even the dog gave him the cold shoulder!
I could smell the awful stench of his sweaty beer breath.
Ugh! Nothing turns me off like the rank odor of bad beer breath.
horrible, disgusting, stale, randy, ferocious, doggy, soooo unromantic!"

By the way, Ladies, it goes both ways!
"I hate the smell of skanky beer breath, especially on girls!"
Breath mints, chewing gum and mouthwash can mask unpleasant breath for short periods, but in most cases tend to make your breath smell like spearmint-garlic-flavored-beer. This does not add to the magnetic charisma of the night!

Germany has been the center of beer tradition for hundreds of years - a sign of excellence, marked by the tender balance between exacting chemistry and artistic craftsmanship.
It is no wonder that a German chemist has concentrated his efforts over a ten-year period to develop a gourmet breath lozenge that eliminates breath odor. This gourmet lozenge is known as BreathPatrol. Through a combination of water-soluble chlorophyll, citric acid and orange oil, an alkaline process neutralizes the natural body acids that cause bad breath. Be forewarned that your body’s metabolism can influence the duration of its effectiveness, causing the neutralization to last eight hours for those with a slow metabolism, but for only two hours in a person with a fast metabolic rate.
Chlorophyll is the element that is found in the photosynthetic process of plants, converting the sun’s energy into nourishment, allowing a plant to thrive. In the field of bio-herbal medicine, it is known to neutralize toxins, cleanse the body and purify the liver. It may have the effects of increasing the blood’s capacity to deliver oxygen and other nutrients throughout the body, and has antiseptic and antibacterial benefits.
Citric acid is a major carrier of biochemicals in the body’s energy system. It helps balance the ph of the body, and prevents the system from becoming too alkaline. Orange oil exhibits antioxidant properties, while acting as a base within the lozenge.
For maximum effectiveness, the lozenge must be dissolved slowly in the mouth, preferably by tucking it between your teeth and cheek. Sucking or chewing the drop can diminish its effectiveness. The tea berry flavor is not cloying, although a fresh, light sweetness lingers at the finish.
You can approach others with confidence in the exceptional effectiveness of BreathPatrol. For additional information online: contact Mark Johnson-Russell at MJR Distributors, Winnipeg , Manitoba , Canada [email protected] or by phone at 1-204-797-1751.         

I give authorization to Mark Johnson-Russell of MJR Distributors to reprint the article, “Beer Breath "The Ultimate Challenge" originally published online August 1, 2005 at , on his BreathPatrol website at  . Article must be printed in its entirety, including copyright and endorsements.




          The Caesar Salad Lunch "Solution" 

"I and some six volunteers have tried BREATHPATROLTM over a week's time. We haven't been able to detect any odors on each other's breath. I gave a BREATHPATROLâ„¢ Lozenge the acid test by eating garlic bread, with minced bits of fresh garlic sprinkled on it. Then I used a BREATHPATROLâ„¢ Lozenge for about half-an-hour before a friend did the breath sniff.  She couldn't smell anything." 

Frances L.Denney,
Food columnist, K-W Record Newspaper

                                                       The Halitosis Solution

BreathPatrol (June/2005)

While it may not rank as one of the most pressing medical issues of our time, halitosis is a big time annoyance.  Beer drinkers, along with garlic lovers, spicy food fans and smokers must deal with bad breath on a regular basis. Between mints, gums and mouthwashes, there are a lot of tools on the market to help fight bad breath. One called BreathPatrol was submitted to Ratebeer head office for testing.  Given that I dig garlic, onions, blue cheese and chilies in addition to beer makes me a pretty good candidate to put BreathPatrol to the test.

Essentially how BreathPatrol works is this:  dissolve the lozenge in your mouth and get a chemical reaction that neutralizes the halitosis at the source.  Don't worry the chemical is chlorophyll.  The key is that you don't just get your mouth neutralized; it also works in your stomach.  This is where bad breath often starts, by the way.  So for example, if you have a pizza and pop a mint you'll have a minty fresh mouth until you belch up some pizza-scented gas from your stomach.  Breath Patrol eliminates that problem.

Overall, I gave it tea, beer, curry, pizza, tortilla soup and a few other powerhouse breath issues to deal with.  It handled them pretty well, actually, and the stuff tends to last about an hour with me (the manufacturers claim this varies with your metabolism).  That's better than most mints.  It works very well in the mouth and even when the lozenge is dissolved it will continue to do so until your next food or drink.  So if you drink water all the time, it won't be as good for you as it would for someone who goes long stretches without liquid. 

One thing that takes a little getting used to is that it isn't minty.  It's got a lemony, herbal flavor not unlike the woodruff some heathens put in their Berliner weisse.  Tastes pretty good, really, but most of us have grown up on minty fresh so it's a bit different that way.  But then, covering up aroma isn't the goal of the product.  In fact, that there isn't a tell-tale 'cover up' smell is probably a good thing in some situations.  Your wife knows the 'cover up' and isn't fooled.

 The effectiveness is reduced if you don't follow the instructions.  Crunching it is an exercise in futility, as not only does it not crunch well but it doesn't work.  If you suck on it, there will be less time in the mouth for BreathPatrol to do its job.  Oh, and because the functionality is based on interaction between acids and alkalines, using antacids renders it useless so you've got to watch for that.  But under most circumstances, BreathPatrol does a solid job and provides a unique approach to the issue of breath management.

On the whole, I like it.  The taste is good and different.  And it works, which is more than I can say for some of the stuff out there. 

Josh Oakes


BREATHPATROL is manufactured in Europe from all natural ingredients. Its taken years of research/formulation to perfect this unique product.

BREATHPATROLTM does not condone drinking; it is a service for discriminating clients.

It is not recommended nor are we encouraging drinking and driving.   BREATHPATROLTM should never be taken as a substitute for responsible drinking and one should never drive when he/she is above the legal limit of intoxication. Always use a designated driver.  

BreathPatrolTM Authorized Distributor

           MJR Distributors     1 -204-797-1751

                         E-mail: [email protected]       © Copyright 2001, BREATHPATROLTM